Stuff Even I Can't Make Up: Blabbing Bimbos, USHLS Keep Cartoons Characters Safe From Child Sex Abuse, Moonlighting Is Okay for Judges As Long As They Remain Unfunny and Surprise! Someone Got Angry in an Anger Management Class..

For a little light reading, I thought I would take you for a short tour of what I found funny (that's to read funny strange not funny HA HA! I will admit there is some overlap however)

1. For the last time People, If you are going to "Kiss and Tell" DON"T DO IT ON THE INTERNET!!!
Exhibit One: A woman fighting for child support admits on Facebook that her child is not her husband's.
To quote our friends at ABA Journal News "...one mom posted photos of her children during a custody battle, eliciting a comment from a friend that they didn't look much like her husband. Her response: That's because they're not his." That was smart...
Exhibit Two: Another Duke University Sex Scandal.
An apparently Jock sniffing College Co-ed from Duke University decided it would be a cute idea to make a "Power Point Presentation" of her sexual hi-jinx while an undergrad at Duke University. She ranked 13 lovers, all jocks (many Lacrosse players btw) and was very "explicit" in her descriptions of the guys and the activities she and they engaged in. She sent it by e-mail to three friends and "Surprise" it got sent all over the net!!!
(Yeah like she didn't mean to leak it so that she would get the obligatory book opportunity and Playboy spread.)

I think the kids at Duke may have too much time on their hands. How in the hell do they keep getting that US News and World Report Ranking given that they can't seem to shut up??? What ever happened to discretion being the better part of Valor?? In the interest of truth in journalism, I admit, I could have been subject number 12... okay maybe not but a guy can dream can't he?? (You can read the whole report and see the pictures with blackened out faces here)

2. Your United States Bureau of Homeland Security: Keeping "Toon Town" Safe for Cartoon Kids. Now if they could only protect America.
Radley Balko of the "Agitator", one of my favorite bloggers, has put the only headline I could think of on a case of Simpson cartoon characters in sexual positions causing a conviction for Possession of Child Pornography (yeah you read that right.) In his blog post

Worst. Prosecution. Ever.

Radley describes a prosecution where the only "Images" were cartoon characters... Better get rid of any "Fritz the Cat" videos you downloaded.
I read the press release from the US Justice Dept. trying to decipher the real reason they brought this prosecution... If it weren't so true of the way some of these folks think, I'd have laughed. Here is the Money Quote: “We aggressively use our investigative authorities to protect our communities from those who seek to sexually exploit children for their own perverse gratification,” said Leigh Winchell, special agent in charge of ICE Homeland Security Investigations. “HSI continues to dedicate resources to identify those individuals who engage in this type of criminal behavior and ensure they are brought to justice.”
I am so very happy no moreTOON TOWN characters will be sexually exploited for someone's perverse sexual gratification, now could you use some of these funds you WASTED on this prosecution to freaking solve a crime in MY HOMELAND?? You know, a real crime not a cartoon crime... Maybe find some guy like, oh I don't know... OSAMA BIN LADENmaybe??? Where is Bob Hoskins when he is really needed
While on this same topic, If you happen to be a boss (say the Editor of "Innovation" at the Chicago Tribune, maybe it is not a good idea to use company e-mail to distribute a link to a website that has a fake newscast showing women in various stages of inebriation and undress... I'm just sayin'.
In this time of political correctness, all employers need to be more "sensitive", still I can't help feeling like this guy would still have a job if he wasn't always sending these kind of weird things out.
Hattip: NY TIMES

3. Judges in NY have not received a raise (Not even cost of living) in almost two decades. That is not only inconceivable but downright unfair to them and to the citizens (A well funded judiciary is essential to a nation of laws.) So to fix the problem, we gave them a raise right? NOOOOOO!
We will now allow them to "Moonlight". I can see it now:

Attorney: I have another witness your Honor
Judge: I'm sorry, I have to give the Katz kid a piano lesson at 5:15 on the dot. Otherwise I won't be able to tutor the Smith kid in Math at 6:30. Oh by the way, your decision on that stay of the death penalty? I won't have it done till tomorrow afternoon...
Attorney: Uh Your Honor, my client is due to be executed at 12AM tonight...
Judge: Hmmm well maybe if I skip dinner I can finish it by 11:45PM.

Oh yeah it seems that one job a judge can not have is doing "stand up" comedy... Has anyone read some of the decisions they write... KIDDING IT WAS A JOKE... REALLY... :)
Hattip: ABA Journal News Today.

4. From the Bureau of "I Don't Think She Gets It" comes this little ditty "Woman Stabs Another Attendee at Anger Management Class"
That's right, Faribah Maradiaga 19, stabbed a fellow classmate in her anger management class.
Wanna know what they were arguing about??
Men?
Kids?
Obamacare?
Here is your money quote: "A dispute over the value of a video on anger management being shown to the class sparked a war of words..." I guess that video wasn't as good as they thought it might be.

Okay and for those of you who stuck around this long, My old blogger friend Ken Lammers who was a defense attorney and is now a prosecutor (KENNY KENNY KENNY) has been touted as one of the "Hot Law Enforcement Types." Go visit his blog and vote for the picture you think is hotter, Summertime Head-shaven Ken, or Winter Sensitive bearded Ken. Tell him I sent you.

Oh yeah, If you liked this post, let me know. Leave a note on here or on Facebook.

And on a more serious note, if You or someone you know has been accused of Assault, Child Pornography Possession, or Sexual Harassment at work or at school, it is no laughing matter. It is also nothing to handle without the help of a good lawyer. I am more than willing to speak to anybody who needs help with this or any myriad of legal problems. You can reach me here

The Battered Woman Syndrome Defense Scores a Big Win in Butterknife Stabbing Case: Some SOBs Just Need Killin."

When the Prosecution opens the trial with:"Kevin Cobb may not have been a husband or father any of us would want to have..." That ought to be the first clue there is going to be a problem with the prosecution.

When the next thing the prosecutor says is: the husband (Kevin Cobb) was out using coke, returning home around 3 a.m.

And when the alleged victim has done upstate time for drug and violent crimes, well then that would be a trifecta for a good reason not to bring a charge of Murder (or even assault First degree.

But when the defendant has suffered from "...bruises and (a) black eye and (a) punctured ear drum" all at the hands of the alleged victim...then you know you probably should have offered a plea bargain.

Note to prosecutors: "Some SOBs just need killin." It is not necessarily a valid defense but jury's do understand it. It is one thing for a defense attorney to stand before a jury and protect an accused who is also a miserable person, it is far different for a prosecutor to use the state to prosecute someone who is basically a good person ( Ms. Cobb is a nurse and the mother of six kids) and take the side of the miserable SOB who has been abusing them for years. Sounds like the jury understood that Kevin Cobb was one of those SOBs who got far less than he deserved.

Man a butter knife... OUCH!

HAT TIP:ABA Journal
and for some of the quoted material above the NY Daily News

By the way, gotta love the NY Daily News Headline in this case"I killed my coke-fiend husband in self-defense." Kind of says it all n'est-ce pas?

Open Letter to Agape World Inc "Investors"

Readers, I have been attempting to communicate with Agape World Inc. investors who have been talking trash as well as debating the issues of whether the President of Agape World Inc. was able to run an alleged "Ponzi scheme" by himself or if others knew what he was doing.

Of course, many of the folks on the bulletin board service do not like what I have to say. Others did not believe it was me saying it. They pointed to poor sentences and other grammatical errors which plague my writing when I am in a hurry. Of course I did what I usually do. I typed out my thoughts before I forgot them all, then went back to try to edit these thoughts and hit the wrong key thereby printing the response instead, errors and all.

A couple of folks were worried my post was by an anonymous person acting like they were me. I set the record straight in the letter below. I re-read the letter and decided it was worth reprinting it here too. I also edited the post before I sent it...

To whom this may concern:

Thank you for taking the time to ask if I posted on "Fat Wallet."


I am the person who posted to the board. For those that felt that the post was poorly written, H hit the send button in error before I could edit the post. Nevertheless, I think I put the salient points across.


I understand people lost money. Some lost a lot of money, and they are justifiably upset. I also understand that it easy to lash out at people, especially when you can do it anonymously. I am responding as best I can, to investors where I can find them, and I am trying to do it in a non argumentative way. I use my real name because I think that the "anonymity" on the bulletin boards in part led to people not taking the warnings about Agape seriously.


Anthony Massaro is, in my opinion, a good man. He met a person who by all accounts was the consummate "con man." Any "con man" worth his salt slowly builds confidence in his "marks" (BTW I saw that you are having a discussion on what to call people who have been cheated. They are neither "investors", "losers", or "victims". They are "marks".) Cosmo started on his friends family and acquaintances. The more he kept promises, the more they believed in what he was doing. ( I noticed someone asked if Anthony ever told anyone where he met Nick. He told anyone who asked. Did any of you ask?)


No one can deny that Cosmo kept his books to himself. No one has come forward with a single shred of hard evidence that VPs or sub-brokers knew of, or saw, anything awry. All I have heard from marks, reporters and on the boards, is that the salesmen "Had to know". While it is a reasonable suspicion it is by far not proof. When it is held to the facts as we know them, it is no longer a reasonable suspicion.


I understand that this business had accountants lawyers and bookkeepers. It filed taxes. Why is it no one on Fat Wallet or in the press calling for these people to answer? Moreover, if done well (and I have no reason to think Cosmo didn't do it well) even these financial employees can be kept in the dark. Nevertheless can you see that their signing off on these documents gave the VP's and brokers even more to believe in?


I agree, Cosmo surrounded himself with men and women who could not challenge him. They knew little. They were mostly not business law educated. Some people on the floor of the NYSE and other exchanges do not have more than a HS education. If they go to the right firm however they learn. I doubt Agape was the right kind of firm. Agape employees had no idea what questions to ask. Even if they asked, they did not know enough to understand whether they were getting the right answers. If the answers sounded right, their belief level rose again. Nick Cosmo knows how to answer questions. (See the 22 "seminars" he held in December '08.)


Finally, belief in the company hit a pinnacle when Entrepreneur Inc. named the company one of the Top 100 Up and Coming Businesses. Imagine the pride these employees must have had. Imagine if you can, the belief and excitement they must have generated and what they told their friends and families. Instead of thinking they were "in on it", just for a moment, imagine they weren't, and think about how they felt about themselves and their company's accomplishments.


Now maybe you can imagine the betrayal they feel. If I am right, and again I have seen nothing hard showing me otherwise, you were betrayed by Nick Cosmo, a man who you barely or didn't know. They were betrayed by their boss. A person they came to believe in like a business "guru." A man who told them he was their friend and who it turned out cared as little for them as he does for you. Now imagine having to go home to tell your spouse that your whole life was built around a house of cards. On top of this, add people calling for your death or arrest etc. The same people, who only months before were inviting you to dinners, weddings, house warnings, and other parties that you helped make possible through Agape World Inc.


These employees have families and homes, They had savings accounts and retirement funds invested too. They thought they had found the goose that laid the golden egg, and they were giving that to other friends and family. Now they are alone, they are not able to speak to these same friends and families. They are despised and the people who heralded them just a few short months ago, have turned on them.

Maybe you are too angry to hear this, maybe you are so angry that you cannot imagine what I am saying. That doesn't make what I am saying not true. In fact, what I am saying is by far more provable than what some "marks" are suggesting.


That "They had to know" line is certainly convenient, and may make a few "marks" feel better that they were ripped off by a team of "con men" instead of by one guy, but it doesn't equal proof by even a preponderance of the evidence, much less beyond a reasonable doubt.


Someone had mentioned that the "brokers" had to have a Series 7. I do not agree. I do not think the law presently requires people who pool money to lend at a profit have to have any regulation at this time. This case may change that, but if it does, it does so at a great risk to legitimate lenders and moreover to needy borrowers. I do not however, wish to debate the issue now.


I would like to say one more thing however. Some of you have suggested that I must not be a very good lawyer because I have chosen to come on Fat Wallet and other websites to respond to some of the things I have seen written there. I guess I have a different way of practicing law than most people do. I think that it is important to have someone challenge, rationally, the proposition that where there is smoke there must always be fire. Sometimes when there is smoke, all it is, is smoke.


My client is sad, dazed, and right now, alone. If I am right, he did nothing more than any other mark has, but he has lost far more than they, he has lost not just money he had counted on, but a support and a belief system. While I understand the anger, it is a shame that others cannot withhold judgment until all the facts are aired. Until then, these men and women are entitled to be presumed innocent by each of you.

There you have it. I may be unconventional, but I think that people should hear both sides of things before they decide something as important as whether to charge a person based on nothing more than conjecture.

I will try to catch up with you all later this week.
TLD

That Lawyer Dude Talks Tech,Law Office Management and Internet Marketing: Some Favorite Posts in the Blawgosphere

My friends and families think I am so tech savvy because I blog, tweet, and have done a few podcasts. I market through AVVO.com, The Virtual Loop, The Attorney Store and I use the computer for educational reasons. Some even think it is wild that I have 2 E-Mail Accounts. I have news for you all, I am a tech idiot. That is why I follow Blogs by Dennis Kennedy, and Tom Mighell among others.

I do however read tech blogs and blogs about the Internet, and sometimes even understand them. Here are my favorite posts from this last week:

1.I just received the gift of a great new computer from my mom(Thanks Mom.) One of the things that used to drive me nuts with my old one however, was how slow it would become over time. This post will help you to keep your computer from giving up all its memory to disk fragmentation and other useless waste of space.

2. Now as for taking up space on your computer... This post teaches you how to backup your Gmail account using a free app called aptly enough Gmail Backup. How convenient. I would suggest that rather than take up a lot of memory on your computer's hard drive you move all this stuff to a thumb drive. It is inexpensive and you can store it offsite... like in your pocket.

3. These three posts don't really qualify as techie per se, but I think they belong in this post so here they are;

a.) 100 blogs That Make You Smarter... ok they forgot That Lawyer Dude but the others are pretty good.

b) Speaking of learning stuff, Our friend Ernie the Attorney has another blog called PDF for Lawyers. In this post he speaks about production of Electronic Discovery (specifically e-mail). It is an important short little post. I found the decision interesting because the ability to search material has become so prevalent that paper is no longer considered a viable medium.

c.) And finally a review of VideoSurf.com which claims to surf videos and makes it easier to find video on sites like YOuTube.com etc. Seems the idea is good, but not that reliable. You can find the review here courtesy of the Wall Street Journal.com.


4.Understanding how to get your blog or website a lot of hits and learning to drive traffic to that site so that you can get potential clients to your site means understanding SEO (Search Engine Optimization). Here are a couple of posts that take the mystery out of the initials:

a).One of my Favorite Bloggers is Carolyn Elefant. Her post at Nolo's Legal Marketing Blog is about do it yourself Search Engine Optimization. Carolyn makes it seem easy to get better Google ranks ethically and without costing yourself thousands of dollars. You can follow Carolyn on Twitter by clicking twitter.com/carolynelefant


b.) Mike Fruchter has a post over at LouisGray.com that has a few ideas not covered in Carolyn's piece. You can follow Mike at twitter.com/fruchter. By the way, Louis Gray is a wonderful website if you want to stay on top of and ahead of what is happening on the Internet.

5.Speaking of Twitter.com, Twitter is one of my favorite tools and occasionally a pleasant diversion/distraction. It has been driving readers to this blog (thanks and welcome) and it has provided quick information and some real friends. If you don't know what Twitter is, go to Twitter.com and find out. It is really a lot more than what you think it is from watching the videocast. It is a way to connect, share information and let others know what interesting (and not so interesting things) you are doing. Yes, tweeters (people who use Twitter) want to know all about you, so keep it interesting.

Here are a few blog posts to make the whole Twitter.com experience more interesting.

a.)The beautiful and intelligent Sarah Evans has these two self-explanatory posts on how be a useful tweeter that others want to follow. These are the Do's and these are the Don'ts. pay attention, this is good advice and you will soon find out that you too can have a great Twitter following. That following will turn into readers and sooner or later many will become people who help your career.
Follow Sarah Evans at Twitter.com/PRsarahevans

b.) As you build your following, you can drive traffic to your blog and to your website. "Pro Blogger" Darren Rowse uses this post to teach you how to use Twitter to turn your website Go Viral.
Follow Problogger at twitter.com/problogger

c.)This post will help you find Government tweeters. I think you can use it to find people to follow who will educate and inform you.
Here is their mission statement:

We want the GovTwit directory (below) to include all facets of government: state and local, federal, contractors, reporters, academics and more. The list below will be a living list, and we hope to keep it updated via our own research, as well as your submissions.

To start, we have included only Twitter IDs and links to official government blogs and URLs noted in Twitter bios

And that is my Tour of Tech posts for now. Let me know if you found this helpful and I may make it a regular part of this blog, either monthly or weekly. Let me have your input.

Speaking of following people on Twitter...You can follow
Tom Mighell at Twitter.com/TomMighell You can follow Dennis Kennedy at Twitter.com/DennisKennedy, you can follow Ernie (The Attorney)Svenson at Twitter.com/ernieattorney And...

You can follow me on Twitter by going to Twitter.com/thatlawyerdude.